woman in front of two paths of wheat

Life Decisions

Photo by Burst on Unsplash

Sundays are my lay-in day. My husband gets up with the kids and usually, I sleep in with a cheeky cup of tea. But this morning, I’ve been unable to sleep, so I got up and opened my blinds, letting in the crisp early-morning sun, then I began typing these thoughts.

There are a couple of reasons I couldn’t get back to sleep. Firstly, the terrible invasion of Ukraine, and worrying about my good friend in Russia. My heart and my thoughts are with everyone affected by these horrific events, and I want nothing more than for Ukraine to experience peace again sooner rather than later.

Secondly, the assignment I still haven’t finished which is due in a couple of days (yet here I am typing this blog post).

Lastly, the decisions I have to make regarding my life and career path.

Currently, I’m doing a level 3 counselling course, which has been incredible and given me so many valuable skills and insights for life and relating to others. It finishes in June and I was so sure I was going to go on to do Level 4, complete my training and become a fully-fledged counsellor.

But then I gained the confidence to start a Youtube channel about minimalism, and suddenly, I realised there was nothing stopping me.

When I think about my future, the first one that comes to mind is of me living as a writer and content creator, the second vision is of me as a counsellor.

People have said to me ‘Why not do both?’, but there’s a huge pile of ethics that come into play once you start counselling real clients while your real vulnerable self is out there on the internet for all to see.

Then there’s the issue of focus. I know that if my focus is spread too thinly, I won’t be able to give it my best and won’t have a chance of making my dream anything past a hobby. This is where minimalism applies not just to my stuff, but to my life in general. Take on too much and life simply becomes heavy and unmanageable. The joy and meaning gets lost in all the craziness, schedules and to-dos.

I also have my health to consider since I have ME (Chronic fatigue syndrome), as well as hypothyroidism (which I am being treated for). My low energy levels are another reason I found minimalism to be an invaluable tool and the way of life for me.

My thoughts are that I will take a year out from counselling and pour my focus fully into this blog and my new channel (amongst working and doing parenty stuff, of course).

And as a content creator I know there will be a lot to learn. Video editing, marketing skills, emails, product creation, camera presence, talking skills, audience engagement, SEO research…

It’s both exciting and exhausting to think about. But I know from experience that the pain of continuing to live how you are must far outweigh the thing you need to do to grow or achieve what you want.

It’ll probably be harder than anything I’ve done to date, but doing hard things is how growth happens and how lessons are learnt. Daring to grow, that’s the real challenge.

Daring to become more even though there’s a small voice in my mind that tries to convince me why I can’t or shouldn’t.

All the way through my counselling course has been a small voice sneering ‘What makes you think you can help anyone?’. But that’s one of the very things that drives me forward – my need to help others. When I’m not helping people I feel like I’m not living my life’s purpose. And there would be no bigger regret at the end than feeling as if I hadn’t lived true to myself, hadn’t given to the world in some way. Even worse would be if I hadn’t even tried.

As I leave you here, I want you to think deeply about what it is you want from your own life. What will bring you joy and meaning? What’s stopping you? And is what’s stopping you real, or a story your mind made up to protect you from failure and doing the work?

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